On Freeing Yourself of Your Problems

The one day I finally tell myself I will sleep no later than midnight sharp ... I awaken at an ungodly hour, disturbed with thoughts that will simply not let me rest.  So here I am folks, 1 o'clock in the morning,  fingers tap-dancing on my keyboard.

Hello world.

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Over the past few weeks, I have faced a slew of challenging situations.  Problems arose and I had no idea how to tackle them.  I never thought of myself as one to stress.  I'd like to say my plasma levels maintain a steady state of happiness to the nth degree.  But, it is practically inevitable.  At some point, we are deemed to encounter such gnawing complexities - leaving us feeling... well... stressed.  Ahh... Stress.  The million dollar culprit fueling America's home of workaholics and healthy demise.

Wiki will be the first to let you know, stress is the 'body's way to react to a challenge.' 

In its most simplistic and natural state, the cause of your stress boils down to a problem and how you perceive that problem.  A problem, in Hibah's most humble definition, is a self-created complexity at which ignites a state of worry and anxiety.  Before Webster can refute my definition, I will explain.  I do not believe in problems.  I believe in a challenge.  

Yes, there is a difference.

I can tell you, 99.99% of the issues we face daily are self-made.  Yessir, I said it.  You are the sole creator of your problems.  

I'm sorry, what? 

If you are poor, you chose to make money your problem.  If work has stacked papers like sky-scrapers on your desk, you chose to make work your problem.  If your in-laws bug you with daily to-dos, you chose to make family your problem.   You cannot control the situations God puts you in.  Agonizing over the past is simply silly, the past has vanished.  Nor should you stress the unforeseeable future, for you can do nothing but submit to the world that comes to you.  But on a positive note, you do have NOW.  Now is precious.  You have challenges that enter NOW.  So in the now, attack the situation at hand and submit to the results God places.  

I am also at fault here.   We expect happiness and resolution to come to us the next day or the next week or the next month.  We are always expecting time to bring us happiness.  We look forward to tomorrow because we have a preconceived notion that TOMORROW will bring us happy.  But hello, what about the present moment?  You are living each moment for the next moment, never fully are you here in the PRESENT moment!  And by the time the future reach us, it becomes... the present moment.  So really, is there a future, if when it comes to you, it becomes your now? 

A problem arises from a constant state of worrying the unknown.  You think you have a problem!  "Oh my gosh, I have to do XYZ by tomorrow's 5 o'clock deadline."  BUT, what problems are currently present at this current moment?  Really think this through, at this moment... what problem do you have now?  It is likely that you do not have a problem now, but you have a challenge, perhaps pain and possibly even emotions involved.  Now, you can accept the challenge and do the work you need to adhere to your deadline.  What tomorrow brings is another day, not to be stressed over until it becomes your now. 

Free yourself of your -what my friend Eckhart Tolle likes to say- 'problem-making' attitude.  Surrender to what is current.  Take life as it comes to you, one step at a time.  Because when you live in the now, you internally align yourself with the present moment.  Seeing the beauty of what you have now.  

And Now... Now will bring you freedom.  

Be well. 

This Moment Called Now.

I have walked past the same hospital every single day on my way to school.  Everyday, it is the same situation.  People, in their hustle and bustle, entering and leaving.  Busy on their phones, assisting those on a wheelchair, yelling at the traffic guard...  I love to take it in.  I love to breathe the beauty of this city.  For each second is harmonious.  It is a single moment that shall soon vanish in thin air and become the past.  How often do you stop to look around and appreciate that present moment? 

There is music in your city, have you heard it?  There is music in the honking of the bumper-to-bumper cars.  There is music in the clicks of heels racing across the cement.  There is music in the water that drips softly from the broken pipes.  All perfectly orchestrated to yield an effortless symphony.  I heard it in the present moment.

There is beauty in this moment called now.  Take heed to the sound of your breath, ever so softly synchronized with your lungs to keep you alive.  There is beauty in this moment called now.  Listen to your voice, singing like butterflies dancing in the sweet wind.  There is beauty in this moment called now.  Listen to the air that prances about the aura you emit gently.  Listen and see the now.

I believe in the now.  I do not live in the past and I cannot stress the future.  But I believe in right here, right now.  Because this very moment, this very present moment.... this is real.  This is what I have.  This present moment has the ability to change my world.  It has the ability to undo my past and become a new person.  It has the ability to reshape my future and help me become what I want to be. 

Yes, there is beauty in this moment called now.  Yes, look around you.  There is goodness in life.  Absolute goodness.  God has created a beautiful world. 

All it takes is the present moment to see it. 

All it takes is recognizing the beauty in this moment called now.

Be well.

A Precription to Positivity.

Today it snowed.  It is just about tradition, when it snows my mother instantly tunes in to her inner chef and revs up a first class punjabi meal.  Today, it was crispy parathay with minced beef and spice.  Ahh, comfort food for my very American, Punjabi soul.  Having overindulged, I supplemented with a warm cup of unsweetened green tea.  And so I began to write... with cozy by my side and thoughts pouring through my soul like the fluff of sweet snow, I began to write...

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"Haha, who're you kidding... You ain't good enough."

"Umm, you might as well stop there, because you stink."

"You're definitely not skinny enough."

"You swear like you're the nicest person on earth."

"Trust me, there are way better people than you out there."

Sound familiar?  The voices of your inner critic bang your head like a toddler with pots and pans. You hear him each time you decide, 

'Today will be a new day."  

"Today, I will make a step into a positive direction."

"Today, I will wear the outfit that best expresses me."

And so, you begin.  You begin to start your day feeling great.  People may even respond with, 'Oh my, don't you look fab today!'   And yes, you continue to feel fab, all day!  But it is only a matter of time, when the husky, ever so bombastic voice begins to cast his devilistic shadow.  "Seriously?  You seriously thought that outfit made you look good? I mean, for reals!"  

It is practically instinctual, yet we do it to ourselves.  There is no better external critic than the one that lives inside of YOU. You see, we ARE our own WORST critics!  Have you thought, what would happen if I simply reversed that thought.  What would happen if I duck-taped my critic and actually began to think more positively?  What would happen if I actually BELIEVED I was capable of XYZ?

I believe negativity to be a learned behavior.  As children, we are powerful beings.  We are constantly yearning to observe the environment, touch, feel, hear, and explore our 5 senses.  We enter our terrible twos, challenge our very own parents, and claim to be atop of the world.  There is an innate understanding that we are capable.  That yes, God-willing, as a 1 year old child, I can take my first step... I can verbalize my first word... I can learn to read.

But what happens with time as we grow older.  Into our fours and fives, the world suddenly becomes clearer and more crisp.  Suddenly, social media, shopping, and competition becomes the vain of our existence.  Or so, our friend named society has taught.  The place that occupied the brain that always told us, "I can, I can, I CAN" has now become, "I can't, seriously I CAN'T!"    

 So we go about living our days in complete and utter negativity.  The lens at which we view the world becomes dim and dark.  We envy the model with the prettier face, the student with greater intellect, the jock with unwavering agility, the speaker with fluid articulation, and so on.  You see, we are constantly, constantly comparing ourselves to the being directly in front of us.  And by doing so, we are simply feeding the critic with juicy envy and bitter depression.  You are only allowing your critic to grow and grow further just by continuously comparing yourself to the stronger, smarter, and better looking girl/guy two feet from you.

There is beauty in the person that you are.  I have said it once and I will say it again.  God created you with a special purpose.  I believe everyone is a genius.  Yes, I really do and YES, that would be you!  I believe we all carry an immense potential, that can and does go undiscovered.. Simply because we are too negative to realize it. 

So to keep this post from getting any longer, I want to give you a prescription to positivity.  No, I am not a doctor and yes I am only a student.  But, I want to tell you what has completely changed my life, for the better.  Here is your Rx. 

Rx. 
Diagnosis: Hyper-negativity Syndrome 
Drug: Gratitude by QuickFix Pharma.
Dose / Frequency: 5 minutes once every morning and night, titrate up as tolerated.  
Duration:  21 days 
Refills: Unlimited

1. Be Grateful.  The second you wake up in the morning, before you even lift your comforter, shout out 3 (at least) new beautiful things you are grateful for.  Truly feel the power of the morning and the beauty of this day.  Yes, God gave you another day to live.  This is your gift.  This is your PRIVILEGE to see the world, just one more day!  So say it proud and LOUD, what are you grateful for?  
2. Give.  Do one nice thing for another once every day.  Send a thank you card to your mail man, email a friend and tell him / her how great of a person he / she is, etc.  Not only will this make you feel good, but you see, you're spreading love!!  And love is contagious.  That positive bug you have will indeed infect your neighbors, and it will go viral!
3. Be Positive.  Yes, be positive.   Any time your critic yells, "YOU SUCK," you grab him by the ears and smush him!  Proudly and confidently yell back at him, "I am capable!"  Always, always, ALWAYS stay positive.  No matter what situation you are in.  Even when you are in your most deepest and darkest place, there is something positive to look forward to...!

For now, this is all I will prescribe.  Shifting from a negative to a positive outlook takes baby steps.  But with persistence and motivation, I have full confidence you can shrink your critic and believe in the powers invested within you! 

Now, excuse me while I chow down on my mother's whole-wheat paratha (yes, I am allowing occasional wheat on this sugar fast :)

Be well. 

Yoga for the Mind.

Yesterday, my little brother came for a visit.  We ordered greasy pizza (which, yes I will admit, I wanted to sample!) and gup shup'd the night away.  I had him try something new, however. 

This is how it went:

"So Basheer, every night before bedtime, I have a little meditation session."
"A meda--what!?!? Dude, I'm not doing that with you.  Do guys seriously do that?"

Okay, this kid is gonna get a tapar.  I then continued to force meditation 101 on him.  

And he enjoyed every second of it. 

Let me ask you: When was the last time you broke from your busy day to take 10 mindful minutes?  We go about our days working, helping, cooking, cleaning, running, walking, traffic, and talking.  But when, when did you give yourself 10 minutes to simply do... well.. nothing!?  To just relax and allow thoughts to flow in and out.  To focus on the sound of your breath... inhale... exhale... inhale... exhale.

Now, as Muslims, we pray 5 times a day.  Prayer is beautiful, but I feel it is not always given the full focus it should.  The whole process of prayer may possibly take 10 minutes (ie. wudu, intention, prayer), though I agree timing is individualistic.  But for this example, suppose it takes 10 minutes overall.  If we were to truly focus our thoughts only on God, that means we are spending roughly 50 minutes a day in pure connection and meditation essentially.  I mean, Subhan'Allah!  What scientists are now realizing is so beneficial for our health, Allah (S) has prescribed for us centuries ago!  

My instagram'd photo, because yes, the iphone is the best and only camera I have :)

Think of it this way.  When we work our bodies too hard, the fatigue allows better sleep, and thus a better functioning body.  Your mind is constantly working.  But for just 10 minutes, allow your mind to relax.  Give him the rest he needs!  Sleep well, live well, be healthy, and love the person you are. 

So be it through prayer or by a simple 10 minute mental-vacation, relax that mind.  Breathe the present moment.  Feel God in the air.  He is good. 

I say- light those candles.. dim those lights.. hear the ocean... and just breathe!  

Its yoga for the mind.

Be well.